Well, I feel like such a putz....I am quite embarrassed, not only for my unprovoked outburst, but more for my bragadocious manner. However, from my deepest depths of despair, my greatest accomplishment is to be realized. As the great Steady Ed once counciled me over a bowl of roasted peanuts and several frosted glasses of schnaps, "You can't drive an Oldsmobile until you've logged many Escort miles".
My last post on this DISCussion was perhaps my lowest moment, but it was recognized by the most loving of the disc golf community as a cry for help.
I want to start by thanking those who sent personnel messages of support. Those who know 'The Ol' Maje' (as I was known on the old tour - 'Maje' being a playful nickname for the army rank of Major, as I was famous for taking many of the younger, and typically uncircumcised, players under my wing), know that I am quite the private and modest man.
I stated that I made 27 thousand on my last year on tour, and while this was out of line, it is fact. Now, I should clarify that the majority of this money came not from modest PDGA purses, but from sponsorships and 'calcutta' bets, as they are known. These were side bets amongst touring pros and while I have been away from the competitive game for some time, I am sure that these bets are still commonplace. As an amusing aside, these calcuttas are not always score or skill related. I once bet the great Ken Climo, who I affectionate referred to as 'Skid Mark Kenny', that I could break more audible wind than him on the back nine of the PDGA Gene Rayburn Memorial. Well, as most of you are aware, Ken exists soley on a diet of legumes and homemade mulligatawney soup, thus giving him quite an active backside. Anyway, I took KC for several hundred that day, as he kept pressing me (sorry, ugly 'ball golf' reference), whilst unaware that the night before I participated in a falafel eating contest at a local exotic foods deli.
Well, the big news is that due to my total breakdown on this very forum, I received some solid sponsorship from the boys at 'dirtydenim.com' and will start training for my truimphant return to the tour right after I recieve my hamstring replacement surgery. The great folks at dirtydenim will not only front the entry fees for my first 5 events (not to exceed $99, but it's a start), but have graciously agreed to pay for the local anesthetic for my upcoming surgery. This experimental procedure, which will be performed by the brother in law of the physician who did Hugh Downs's hair plugs, is slated for late Feb. After some grueling rehab, I should be ready for the late summer East Trenton Swing.
Best to all and love to those special people who have reached out to me.